ME -- A BULLY?

 

contributed by:

Dr. E. Maurlea Babb

family therapist

member of First United Methodist Church,

Glen Ellyn, Illinois

“Don’t you know how you should behave – what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sure that you see the value of doing it my way.”

“You’re not good enough to belong to our organization.”

"My mommy says that I can’t play with you.”

“Until you cooperate with the program, you will not go far in this company.”

“You are a nobody and no one wants to associate with you.” 

And so the bullying begins and continues.

How many times have you and I witnessed or been a part of this subtle (or not so subtle) behavior of bullying? Too often we only recognize the more blatant forms which are reported as someone commits suicide or plans revenge in other ways.  Our landscape is dotted with acts of bullying which are often ignored as we want and try to be ‘somebody’ who is accepted and valued.

In response to the bullying ‘plague’, we have formed committees to plan and execute controls and consequences. And the bullying goes on.

Perhaps we need to look more deeply at the possible roots of this interaction which occurs as individuals and groups strive to gain recognition, power, control and self worth with such behaviors.

Christ came to us to address compassion, unconditional love and acceptance of each of us as diverse persons.  What would be the cost if we were to follow that model, starting in our homes?  Could we develop a society of acceptance and affirmation?  How would we respond as a family, community which operates under a model of cooperation?  Can we only feel worthwhile if we are ‘on top’ – keeping others ‘down’ through the act of bullying – subtle or blatant?

God, I believe, has an agenda for us to work, play, dialogue together with a respect for our individuality, uniqueness and right to different points of view.  That uniqueness was not created to do harm, but to enhance us in our relationships with one another as a member of God’s family. 

Pray that we work together to understand, make changes and value each other, beginning  at the level of the family in order that those accepting, encouraging behaviors extend into our own society and beyond. 

We can and must eliminate bullying and it needs to begin with ME.