contributed by:
Dr. E. Maurlea Babb
family therapist
member of First United Methodist Church,
Glen Ellyn, Illinois
Do you look forward to the holiday season with joyful memories of the past? Or do you, as the two persons highlighted in this article, face the holidays with feelings of anxiety and pain from past experiences.
Two persons shared their stories recently – a courageous act, allowing for vulnerability.
I am Jonathon, a 28 year old and single. I am a Christian and try to live my faith. I recently moved into a new community and looked forward to building new relationships so naturally turned to the church of my denomination in the area. It is a large congregation and I was encouraged to visit the young adult group of 30 plus persons. The holidays were just beginning and the church bulletin announced a gathering to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season. I walked into the meeting room noting that visiting and eating was happening. One table welcomed me to sit with them. I got a plate of snacks and a beverage, looking forward to meaningful interactions. It did not happen. My efforts to connect were ignored and I was feeling very alone in the midst of conversation. I left the gathering wondering – “What would Jesus do – how would his presence have been handled.”
I am Leona, a 79 year old widow and I’m remembering the family gathering of last year during the Holy Season. We will gather this year at my son’s home and I will be encouraged to sit by the fire – a distance away from the rest of the family. All will come and pay their respects with a hug and a few words but I cannot engage them in conversation for long because they have other priorities. I know that they love me and I know that Jesus is always with me, but somehow I feel not valued, not important; my years of living and the wisdom I could share from those years is never requested. I am ‘lonely in the crowd.’
What can we do? What are we willing to do, as ambassadors of Jesus, in our church families and in our homes to embrace both physical touch and meaningful interaction in order for all to feel valued and to have a sense of belonging? Holidays only emphasize the opportunities before us. Let us pray and be intentional with our actions about what we profess to believe, “a creed of ‘open doors’ and ‘open hearts.’
