LONELINESS MAGNIFIED DURING THE HOLIDAYS

contributed by:

Dr. E. Maurlea Babb

family therapist

member of First United Methodist Church,

Glen Ellyn, Illinois

Do you look forward to the holiday season with joyful memories of the past?  Or do you, as the two persons highlighted in this article, face the holidays with feelings of anxiety and pain from past experiences.

Two persons shared their stories recently – a courageous act, allowing for vulnerability.

I am Jonathon, a 28 year old and single.  I am a Christian and try to live my faith.  I recently moved into a new community and looked forward to building new relationships so naturally turned to the church of my denomination in the area.  It is a large congregation and I was encouraged to visit the young adult group of 30 plus persons. The holidays were just beginning and the church bulletin announced a gathering to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season.  I walked into the meeting room noting that visiting and eating was happening.  One table welcomed me to sit with them.  I got a plate of snacks and a beverage, looking forward to meaningful interactions. It did not happen.  My efforts to connect were ignored and I was feeling very alone in the midst of conversation.  I left the gathering wondering – “What would Jesus do – how would his presence have been handled.” 

I am Leona, a 79 year old widow and I’m remembering the family gathering of last year during the Holy Season.  We will gather this year at my son’s home and I will be encouraged to sit by the fire – a distance away from the rest of the family.  All will come and pay their respects with a hug and a few words but I cannot engage them in conversation for long because they have other priorities.  I know that they love me and I know that Jesus is always with me, but somehow I feel not valued, not important; my years of living and the wisdom I could share from those years is never requested. I am ‘lonely in the crowd.’

What can we do? What are we willing to do, as ambassadors of Jesus, in our church families and in our homes to embrace both physical touch and meaningful interaction in order for all to feel valued and to have a sense of belonging?  Holidays only emphasize the opportunities before us.   Let us pray and be intentional with our actions about what we profess to believe, “a creed of ‘open doors’ and ‘open hearts.’

Raising Awareness in the Local Church About Serious Mental Illness (Brain Disorders)

contributed by

Marianne Lucas

member, Our Saviour's United Methodist Church

Schaumburg, IL

1^st the Facts:

·         1 out of 5 adults will suffer from a serious mental illness in their lifetime.

·         Mental illnesses are biological – a chemical imbalance in the brain.

·         If treated early, many will recover and lead productive lives.

·         Mental illnesses are not anyone’s fault, or a result of poor upbringing.

Educating the Congregation

·         Give families an opportunity to tell their stories to the congregation.

·         Consider educational presentations or a series on the topic for established groups in the church (e.g. visitation groups, Stephen Ministers, United Methodist Women, Adult Sunday School, clergy and staff, and/or Sunday School teachers).

·         Provide a resource table. Include such items as educational materials, where one can get help, and books on the subject (including autobiographies).

Reaching Out to Individuals with Mental Illness and Their Families

·         The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) can provide speakers that are recovering from mental illness (In Our Own Voice program).

·         Organize a small group to share life experiences, a time for questions and answers, and some educational background information.

·         Visit the person suffering from mental illness in their home or hospital. Be open, willing to learn, and to just listen. Remember: they are the experts on what it is like to have a mental illness. This is a big support for the family, also.

·         Provide a support group for those who are experiencing mental illness and/or their families. (NAMI also has these groups.)

·         Offer a drop-in center once a month for socializing, recreation, light refreshments, etc. You may want to cooperate with other area churches in this.

Invite the NIC Mental Health Ministries Task Group to share insights, describe available resources, and lead dialogue about mental health ministry opportunities. Contact Marianne Lucas (847.885.2279 mariannejack@gmail.com) or Rev. Linda Deming (630.238.8746 deming_linda@att.net)